"If there were such a thing as sin, this would be it: to allow yourself to become what you are because of the experience of others." ~ Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch
This weekend I have been fired up by the book, "The Giving Tree."
I have written a post about this book before. It's been over a year since that last post; but, I still feel the exact same.
This weekend I read the book to PIB, he didn't even see the tree. He said what he took away from the book was that the boy changed his priorities as he grew older. I was upset to the umpteenth degree about his reaction. I then took it to a sleepover with the girls.
Amber's response was that the same as mine. Mel said it could be the love of a mother and a son. And Nicole simply said, "But she chose to be happy." With a smile on her face and amazement in her eyes, she said, "I love the book." She loved it. Loved how the tree gave. Loved how the boy came back. And loved how she decided to be happy in the end.
This brought me to obsess about this book all weekend. And even a bit today. But draws me to stop and think about this. I don't want to be the tree. Believe me. My views have not changed. If anything, my views about this book has evolved into a deeper meaning in which I must remember to be mindful enough to replenish myself as I give. To not allow someone to take advantage of me while I'm feeling deliriously happy due to the fact someone is giving me attention. Its given me more insight into the idea that I shouldn't allow myself to figure out other peoples problems to the extent I would allow myself to be cut up to nothing.
HOWEVER! I do need to be living more in the moment. I know I've said this before. I know I've blogged about my need to be mindful. I know that I've tried to find this lily pad for so long. Thus, I'm reiterating these things in my life.
I'm writing down the things I love about my boy. Making a happiness jar. Pulling from these memories as I need them. Living in the moment of the good. Focusing on the positive. So that I am less negative. This is who I want to be. I can do it. I know it. I'm going to do it.
I don't want negative experiences of the past to limit my happiness of the now. I chose to be happy.
xoxox
