Eyes wide open

I never again want to love someone who doesn't love me. I never again want to feel an explosion of emotion that overwhelms me on sight.

This boy doesn't do that to me. He likes me more than I like him. I need to keep it that way. It helps me stay logical. I will grow to adore him the longer I'm with him.

He is attractive and funny and attentive. I want all of those things in a man. So whether or not I'm over the last boy, I will move forward with this boy because I should. Because I should see him even through my broken heart.

I don't ever want to feel as strongly about someone as I have in the past. The pain of letting go is not worth it.

So by giving him a chance, I give me a chance. I need this. I need to be needy and he doesn't mind. He doesn't see me as weak.

Affection isn't a problem with him because I don't scare him. I like that.

Heres to a new beginning...

Day and night

Yesterday I conquered a grade 20 at kangaroo point cliffs. I'm pretty thrilled at that

Last night I went on a first date with Luke. I'm struggling a bit because he'd what I want emotionally. But I worry about intellectually.

So my horoscope says not to doubt.

Maybe I should trust and let myself fall??

I am alive because I'm valunerable

I don't need superman.

Me- I have realized that I don't need to be with someone who wants to save the world with me, just someone who supports me in my need to save the world.
Amber - yep. You need someone who compliments you not competes with you.

I have been struggling with getting over TWO.  To the depths of my soul, my spark is lost and my world has been shaken.

Too much time, energy and effort was going into making something work.  It was draining.  I don't know why that much energy went into the relationship. I haven't any idea as to why I fell for him like I did.  Either way, I am coming to realize that I need to have affection and warmth.  I need someone who shows they like me.  I can't lose sight of the fact that I LEFT NATHAN for lack of affection. For him being so self absorbed into what he "needed" that there wasn't any room for me.

A girl knows things.  Thats just the way it is.  TWO wasn't over his girlfriend.  He wasn't strong enough to handle my spirit.  This need to have him accept me has caused me to crash.  I will recover, but the amount of time I spent in trying to make whatever we had work even for such a short period of time, took as much out of me as me trying to make nathan and I work. 

I just want someone who supports me.  I need that.  I will find it, now that I know what is the deal breaker.

End of story.

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"#instacollage my #first #nightclimb #kangaroopoint #seeaustralia #brisbane #goodtimes "

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