You're on belay.

Its been such a long time since I've taken the time to post a real blog post.  A lot has happened.  In the time of my last post (which I think is safe to assume was when I was in Melbourne? I didn't look back to see), a lot has happened, as usual.  I have about three weeks left on my current visa.  As usual, I'm procrastinating on actually doing anything.  Although, I have found a sponsorship for a 457 visa, of which I'm pursing.  I have since moved out of Brisbane and to Bundaberg, about a 4.5 hour drive north.

Its only been a full week since I started the job, but I hate living so far away from my friends.  Its manageable, I know I need to get into a routine up there.  A healthy one, like when I moved to Meadville.  Exercise and eating right is on my list.  Actually, its the only thing on my list.

I've met a boy.  Of course I have, that's not surprising.  I met him before I left for Melbourne, briefly.  We were rock climbing and Simon introduced us.  I mentioned him to Mel and that was about it.  I came back and we hung out every weekend pretty much.  I wasn't sure if he liked me or not.  I told the boys (Harry and Bill) that I wanted him for my long game. 

A couple weeks later after a camping weekend, we had our first date.  That was September 19th.  What is it and September and me meeting my long terms?  Oh well.  Saturday Tim told me he loved me.  We haven't been officially dating for even a month.  But things have moved fairly quickly.  I lived with him for a week before moving to Bundaberg and now, the plan is to come down on weekends and stay with him. 

I adore him.  He's the best things from all the previous guys I didn't want to be with.  He's patient and he knows I'm going to be work, but doesn't seem to be daunted by this task.

Last night we were talking about my divorce and I said, don't be fooled.  Love isn't all you need.  You need patience, understanding, compromise, communication and so many other things.  He said, well, when are you going to apply that to a relationship?  and I said, well when a boy shows me the ropes. He said, okay then, you're on belay.

He makes my heart soar.  Of course I think about things and over analyze and get caught up in emotion.  He has said to me over and over that he wants to know what I'm thinking.  He wants to be apart of the conversation in my head.  He wants me to communicate.

He's going to bring structure and order to my life.  I know I can't keep running from that.  I've got to settle down and be a grown up again.  I'm ready for this.  I hope.  I think.  I know I need to break some bad habits. I pray that he can put up with me until I've succeeded in such a task.  I don't want to walk away from him.  I can't bring myself to say the four words he wanted to hear, but it doesn't mean that I don't adore him.  

I do worry, though, about the fact I have more money than him.  One thing I absolutely hate is people who take advantage of that fact.  I appreciate the few people in my life who treat me the same as them and make sure they pay me back for their things or they pay then I pay or we split the cost of things.  This boy, like HHBL, is happy to let me pay for everything.  Including flights to Melbourne.  That does not make me happy to say the least.  I need to figure out a way to bring it up to him before I get so pissed about it.  I do adore him.  So much.  He's so much fun and he's so good for me.  Take things slow.....that's the best relationships.  The ones that take the time to build. 

I'll maybe blog more later on the job and such...at the moment, I should be writing an audit letter for Kurt at VBH. 

xoxoxoxo