You've got things all wrong
You make it feel like a crime
So don't confuse me Mr.
I've known you too long
All I need is a little of your time."
I absolutely love No Doubt.
I never in my wildest dreams imagined where I'd push my comfort zones sexually. Raised in a Pentecostal home where God strikes you dead if you think of anything inappropriate, I was petrified to think about sex. Curious as I was, I wasn't about to damn myself to hell for the sake of something that didn't even sound like fun. Having sex at the age of 17, I vowed then and there to marry the person I'd slept with. Ten years later we divorced and I was 27. One sex partner, the guilt of a religion and some nativity lead me to start pushing comfort zones.
Then I met PIB. This boy, while quite, is like no other I've ever dated, for many reasons, but mainly because his sexual experiences are a bit more out of the box than anyone I've ever met.
Most boys have asked me for a three some. Declined. Most asked me for anal. Declined. Most pushed my comfort zones over and over. From using a toothbrush as a sex toy, to wanting to be physically violent, my most memorable experience to date has been the excitement of a man who asked me to pee on him. (Declined, btw) I am no longer the judgmental bitch I was when I felt God was going to punish me for the pleasure he gave to people.
While reading an article, What Do Woman Really Want, I found myself able to identify with most, if not all of the article. Moreover, though, I want to know what my boy wants. What makes him happy. What makes him tick. A never ending conversation has been a threesome. Seriously, this is something I think all men desire, with no real understanding as to why they want this. Anyway, our conversations are heated. They have led to conversations of an open relationship and swinging.
Whilst it scares the shit out of me, I like to think myself open minded enough to try anything, that doesn't flat out kill me, at least once. So I've been doing some research, have found a massive number of "swingers clubs" in and around our area. Even though he says he wants it, he keeps declining any offer to actually attend a "party" stating that our relationship "isn't ready."
I can't make sense of it. Ever. Finally, today, after another missed opportunity this weekend, I told him I was disappointed that we didn't go. (Do you know how long it takes a girl to psych herself up for something like this???? WAY. TOO. LONG!) He stated the types of "clubs" I have sought out won't be what he's looking for if I was going for him.
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| Mrs. Garrisson from South Park |
Then it hits me. "No single men allowed" isn't really the ideal place to pick up a bisexual male who wants a one night stand with a couple. Holy Fuck. Why hadn't I thought of that before? Um, DUH. Because I come into the equation as a straight (laced) chick who hasn't been fully antiquated to the bisexual/gay world, thus thinking inside the box. What are the odds of finding a bisexual male and a straight (all hands off please!) girl in a couples swingers party. Perhaps the odds are pretty high, but seriously, what are the chick and I going to do whilst our boys are going at it? Yeah. Probably not really something we should introduce to our relationship if you're going to be popping this girls cherry.
So more research I must do. (Since it seems my quite outside the box thinking boy, doesn't give me heaps of information to go on) I must find out on my own, all in due time where to go, how to do it, and if it's okay with me.
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