I am now plagued with the curse of wanting to be a published writer. I have envy that I have never had before. Today: my wish is for the innocence I lost before my desires took over.
I can't help it. As someone who has been writing my entire life, my first novel was at the age of 13. I feel as though this nipping from Elephant Journal is exactly what my hungry libido is in need of. I crave the simple acknowledgement that someone else officially things my ramblings are worthy of a spot on their blog.
Who can help it? I mean, I had given up trying to "make it." I was successfully turned away from every project I had submitted as a kid. As I aged, I realized that many people in life have dreams of having their thoughts heard by the world, and then they grew up. They moved on to be other things, like doctors, lawyers, and maybe strippers. Who knows. Me? Well, I haven't turned out to be much. Someone who seeks happiness instead of letting it come to me. Someone who loses interest in things far too quickly. In fact, one of the things Elephant Journal told me about my writings is that they're too short! haha, what else should I write I about I think? So then, I go into overload and start rambling. Surely they don't want rambles?
I guess we shall see.
I have enlisted some friends of mine to help me with the rewrites. I'm looking for changes that maybe used in my rewrites. Anything really, but mainly, I'm seeking their personal opinions on the data I sent them. I would hate to have my writings offend anymore people.
FUCK! I want to shout off the roof tops how excited I am. But then don't want to jinx myself. patience my inpatient self. If its meant to happen it will. Zen. Mindfulness. All this stuff that I learned over the last few years is going to come in handy while I pretend to wait patiently on my lily pad.
Enough. Off to do some real writing.....I have another idea for a submission.
Adios!

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