The day my fear ate my sanity- My last post.

I've come undone.  I enjoy blogging.  I enjoy writing my thoughts here in this little space in the world.  A crevice that no one notices.  I'm a small part of such a huge worldwide phenomenon. 

I forget that people actually read this.  I forget that the people I care about don't want to be public in my story.

Its funny because Webster, HHBL, SRW, and TCSB, enjoyed that I blogged about them.  The only time they asked me to stop blogging was when I posted bad things.  Say a fight or a really shitty e-mail that was sent to me.

All in all, my blogs have been a source of some kind of argument in my relationships.  Always after I'd broken up with the boys.

Heres the deal.   I like this boy.  So much.  This blog has caused a source of pain that I can't forgive myself for.  It started something that shouldn't have been.

For this, I type my last post.  I started blogging most recently to cope with my divorce.  To pen my hurt and frustrations.  To my surprise, the blog was the best therapy.  I had so many wonderful people post and give advice and tell me they were there for me.

Then my blog turned to my travels and have eventually evolved to my thoughts.

For this, its too personal to keep going in public. 

I want to end this because at the end of the day, this blog is not more important than what I feel for this boy.  I know its too late to fix us.  I get this.  I've walked away from him for the last time.  I get it.

But it worked out for Carrie and Mr. Big........and even if it doesn't work out for us.  My broken heart will always remember the day my fear pushed me for the last time in the wrong direction.

xoxoxoxoxoxo