Tell whoever said, "running away isn't the way" to fuck off.

For a while now, I've wanted to take a moment from life and sit down to pen my thoughts.  Not just any ordinary thoughts, because we all know I have a zillion; but my thoughts on why running away is such a great idea.

When I left my husband, I immediately started to travel.  By travel, I don't mean to the next town or state, I mean, I flew to the other side of the world.  For about a year after I left my hometown of Emlenton Pa, for anywhere in Australia, my mom would ask me, "When are you going to stop running?" or "What are you running from?" 

To outsiders; the answer seemed easy enough: myself.  And friends would post "inspirational" sayings on my facebook wall, " no matter where you go, there you are."

I didn't have an answer for my mom and friends, and for a while I thought the answer could be my old life or my family.  However, I can sit down, two years later, and say I wasn't running away from anything. 

In all honesty, I had always wanted to travel, to see the world and had always felt as though I had bigger plans than getting married and having kids.  My decision to leave that life by getting a divorce from the one who held me back was only the first step toward becoming who I am.  I have become more free spirited and a seeker of all things that make me happy. I dream big hairy audacious dreams.  I've changed for the better!  I am now someone who cares where my food comes from.  I am someone who has finally learned to cook.  I am now able to say I am not afraid of the future or being alone.  I do yoga and run for fun!  I have become what I've always dreamed of being!

“Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won’t suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back – and at some point everyone looks back – she will hear her heart saying, “What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days? What have you done with the talents God bestowed on you? You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents. So this is your heritage; the certainty that you wasted your life.”
-Paulo Coelho

People no longer feel as though I'm out of my  mind, while they can't understand why I've chosen the life I have.  In all honesty, the fact my path wasn't the same as theirs was astounding to them and the abrupt way I left shocked them into gossip.  As they see the person I've become and my happiness, they no longer suggest I seek counseling for being reckless and childish.    They have learned, I hope, to appreciate my taste for a different life. 

I sit here on a beautiful winter day in shorts and tee, comfortable with this place I have settled on as home.  I want to shout from the roof tops to all those who feel trapped in their mundane lives, "RUN!"  The key to your freedom is hidden in your heart and only you should guide your future.  Your mind has been fed by society and what you know around you; but your heart has always known what you want.

Run away, look back, make wise decisions, feel fear, make mistakes with confidence, fail with a smile, return home without shame, and leave again when you're rested.  You'll have stories to tell  and people to meet, sex to be had, love to fall in and out of, but most importantly, you'll cut the weeds away to see your true path in life.

You have the power to say this is not how your story will end and every misstep you take and every success you have is another paragraph in your book of life.

So WRITE on and run away!


xoxoxoxo



* this post is dedicated to my dear friend PK who knows that living doesn't mean in a box.  She has taken life's chances and said, I know that I'm the one who writes my story.  She doesn't allow shit to bog her down and is famous for her support in my life to do the same!  It's also dedicated to a friend of mine who once told me, "I don't know why you're choosing what you are, but even though I don't understand, doesn't mean I can't support you in your happiness."  Thanks YM.