I've been such an awful girlfriend.

The first time the Boy told me he loved me I didn’t say it back.  I couldn’t.  I rolled the information: the words, the sound of his voice, the way I laid in his arms as he said it, running his fingers through my hair.  I know how difficult it was for him to tell me that.  I didn’t want to say it to him until I knew I meant it. 

Ever since then, I have doubted that he loved me.  I paid little attention to the fact he would show me in his own way.  I’ve been blind to something so obvious.  Completely right in front of me.   This weekend I realized that he does love me.   He applied what we were learning in therapy.  He persevered.  He tried several times, gave me my 1 hour…..okay 24 hours.  He broke down my walls and he didn’t even realize it.  He did all the right things.  ALL THE RIGHT THINGS!   It makes me happy.    I’m so thrilled.  I don’t know how to tell him.  I don’t know how to properly express how much I absolutely adore him.  

This is seriously the first time, maybe that I’ve noticed, but have really felt as though he pushed through for something he wanted.  Fought for me when I was hurting.  Waited for me, then came back when he felt I had some time.

Maybe I’m making it all up in my head.  But its okay.  I don’t mind.  Because I love my boy more than I have ever loved him.   It comes from out of nowhere; but I do love him more and more all the time.