Todays Lesson: Use your words.

www.xkcd.com

I need to stop shutting down.  Yesterday the boy and I were discussing my blog.  He stated he has read past posts.  Of which, I feel awful about.  It would be hard to read something by someone you love in regards to someone they were involved with.  I admit, I've facebook stalked his ex.  She's beautiful.  And I'm sure fun.  I told him that she was no longer friends with him, he didn't even realize.  I've read the things she's posted on his wall from when they were dating.  I've viewed the pictures they're tagged in.  Its curiosity.  The same "need" that MBB wants filled.  Its a terrible idea.  You only end up feeling worse.

My blog is raw and emotional.  I rarely go back and read what I've written.  This includes correcting it before posting, sorry grammar Nazis.  Although, at times, for various reasons, I do go back and read a post or two.  At that time, I realize how raw it is.  How I've put myself out there for others to see my dark side.

After LEA and my conversation last night, I reviewed some posts.  I took down my blog.  This morning Angela posted a post from her blog:

http://travelsofayoungwife.blogspot.com/2013/02/perspective.html

And I realize that anyone posting a blog is posting raw emotion.  Anyone who writes is asking for the world to take a look at their soul and examine.  To provide insight into what the writer needs and wants in and from life.

He told me he'd stop reading so I could continue writing.  But here's the thing babe; I want you to be there for me.  I want you to give me your insight. 

You mean so much to me.  This is the way I communicate.  This is how I let the world see into my soul.  If you can handle it; who am I to tell you you can't?

I'm trying.  Hard.  Very. Very. Very. Hard.  Thank you for keeping me on belay!


xoxoxo