My favorite part of the day is crawling into bed after a hot shower. Sometimes only wrapped in my towel, but almost always still wet. I can't help it. I love it. And every time I do it; I'm reminded how much I love it.
Sometimes the shower is my worst enemy though. I think in the shower. I love scalding hot showers. Showers that steam up the room. I love washing the day away, good or bad. I love feeling the hot water on my scalp, run down my shoulders and chest.
I start to think about things though. Tonight I was thinking about a message SRW posted on my wall when I was home last. I had forgotten all about it until I saw it recently when he friended me. It said my phone should be lighting up in 5....4....3..2. I never saw the post until Yeager told me about it. Worse. He never called.
The feeling of Disappointment is brutal for me. I'd rather be slapped or called a terrible name. I can't handle disappointment. It scares me. Makes me run. It's something that has ruined me and SRW. It caused my divorce. It's made me leery of boys.
So tonight as I handle disappointment. And thinking of pulling away, I know I will pull away. I know I've ruined another potential relationship. But I can't handle it. I can't.
My day has been beautiful. I have had such a great time with these kids. And life is still so fantastically good. That's why I know letting this relationship which hasn't started yet go is okay.
Tomorrow, a hiking trip. I am so excited. It's what kept me here on the mountain. I can't wait to spend the day with the students. They are so beautiful! And so much fun. I much rather these camps with the older students than the younger ones!!
Night!
Sent from my iPad
"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism."
~Norman Vincent Peale
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