How do I clearly describe the room I'm staying in? It smells of wood burning The hardwood floors move right up the walls and across the ceiling. The beams have old fashion lamp shades. On the walls are coats and posters. Bags and old pictures. It's a tiny room with so much stuff. But not over crowded. On the dresser is a picture of girlfriend one....and two. Old old books are on shelves in every corner. First and second editions of most of them. The rain hits the tin roof with such loud defiance. The sun refusing to shine. It's cold up here.
Im snuggled under four layers of blankets with pants and three shirts and socks. I'm stuffed full with the amazing food we always have here.
Getting ready to read my book. So glad it's a big book. It will keep me occupied for sometime.
I'm excited about the camping/climbing/hiking trip in two weeks. For so many reasons, but at the same time, dreading the fact I'll be in the states for two weeks. I feel like I just left there. It's stupid to be returning so soon. Oh well, obligation calls.
I keep getting a sinking feeling when I think of my visa ending here. But then I quickly remember I can always get a holiday visa. Oi. Or I can do a trip through Europe. Who knows.
Breathe. Living one day at a time. Tonight -read.
Tomorrow- ISV and website review with wild mountains. And perhaps review my consulting firm. I think I may reestablish that business. I loved it. And couldn't do it due only to time constraints. I'm going to have to change the name though. Eh- just start a new one. I hear it's easier to rebuild then it is to fix something.
Count down to my birthday. Fuck. Makes me sick to think ill be 29 this year. 29. I don't feel 30. But here I am. Three decades old and sooooo happy. I have less now then what I had at 19.
A house, a husband, dogs, the white picket fence. I am so happy to not be living that life with him. Mel and I keep talking about the decision we both made to break off a long standing relationship rather than stay in it just not to be alone. It's hard to make decisions but look at where we are. Both strong beautiful woman. I love you Mel. And amber too. Same situation as us. Love that girl too.
Friendship, honesty, respect.
And the occasional shag.
I'm ready for this.
Xoxo
Tasha Ace Sent from my iPad
"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism."
~Norman Vincent Peale
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