I want you to feel what I feel.

I want to take this post into so many different directions.

At this present moment I Am feeling overwhelmed that once again I have placed good expectations on something to not have these expectations met.

I am also feeling blessed. this makes me happy.

Haha- how is it I have the two things? Who knows.

I need to get ahold of immigration as soon as possible. I'm not sure what direction my life here in oz is going to take. I flip with the blink of an eye to wanting to get back to my comfort zone (the states) and wanting to forge this unruly path.

Suck up this barely bearable job for my very expensive citizenship? Which for the same price, I could study. Seems like a much better way to spend my money.

Shit my battery is dying. Okay so I have a mixture of emotions flowing through me. No one local here to give me a hug.

I have never resented the fact that Nathan took money from me until this very moment when I see that if I had all the money in the world, it could buy me exactly what I want.

However, would I appreciate what I want as much? I'd like to think so,but I guess I'll never know.

At the end of the day, I'm still grateful for this experience to travel and meet new people so if my visa expires and i have to return home, then I'm thrilled I've met the beloved people I have had the chance to cross paths with.

I hope everyone gets to feel these feelings of life. It's a winding path. It's so unknown. Its scary as hell. And I'm not fearless when looking it in the face. I'm petrified. Especially being alone.

I'm growing up. Finally. Geez. ;-)

But at the end of the day,I'm happy. Stressed. But happy. Woah. Is this me being calm???????
Xoxoxo