Dream team

First I'd like to say my one post probably made no sense to people. Lol- sorry, that happens. Day two of Esperance I went for a swim and for a hike. It was beautiful. I bought a journal to keep track of my road trip. I plan to give it to my parents. I'm pretty sure they'll enjoy it. I spoke to Greg, he said how's Esperance. I replied there is nothing to do after 5. He said, that's good right? Relax. I had to remind him that I'm not a relaxed person. He said it was a good place to start. Yeah. Anyway. The title of my post. I see all of my gym peeps have posted all their pictures from dream team. And I'm honestly so glad I didn't participate. In August when I was going to the gym regularly and had my meal plan under way, I never have nailed it, I was able to hit lean. The goal of dream team is extra lean. I could have easily hit extra lean. The problem though is at lean, people were telling me I was too skinny. I'd like to note, that at no point did I or will I ever agree. I was almost to a perfect BMI. Either way, if I had participated in dream team, I'm sure I'd have looked awful. I would like to state I think the goal for dream team is to learn how to eat and exercise properly. Not be extra lean. That fact is lost, I'm positive. When I see the people I love binging after dream team, this fact is proven. It saddens me to see these woman I love dearly doing this to themselves. I know how shitty I feel since I don't look like I did in August. I cant imagine getting to lean and then losing that and not feeling even worse. I know they will lose it because it happens every year after dream team. What's even worse, I'm still struggling with my weight. Big time. I haven't kicked this yet. I'm hoping by the end of the week i'll be better. Hmmmm...... I know I climbed pretty hard today, but maybe I should go for a run too. It's pitch black out, but I should be okay. When bored. Exercise. That's been my motto for the last year. Haha Alright. Night! Xoxoxo