It's so true

I can't really believe how much I no longer believe in love. I have been here at wild mountains for two days and today we were talking about how long Susan and richard have been married. Almost 29 years and they dated for ten on top of that. Fuck me.

Richard, who doesn't know I'm going through a divorce, said to me, I bet you can't wait to fall in love. I just Paused a moment trying to think if how to respond. No. I said. I don't want love. I don't want to fall for anything.

I'm so much better off without men. I am. I get so wrapped up in trying to be lovable. I need keep reminding myself I'm not worth it.

I need to find a way to love my body. Before I can expect someone else to love my body. I need to learn peace and confidence before someone else can see it.

I know I don't want to be aggressive with any sort of brute force, regardless if it's raw. I need to be strong enough to know that I never need someone.

I need to figure out feelings. Shit. Move on? Stay? How am I feeling this way when I thought I've made up my mind? I'm booking flights to WA for the end of April.

My wedding anniversary is coming up. I want to be in espernce for it. Maybe the beaches will help clear out the cobwebs.

"you know why people are afraid when they stand at the edge? It's not the falling, it's the fact they might jump."