Feel your own pulse beating

Eyes closed.

Legs crossed.

Hands together in the form of prayer.

Concentrate on being centered. Hear your breathing. Feel heavy to the ground. Relax your shoulders. Feel your heart beat through your palms. Be aware that you are.

Have you ever just tried to do this? Sit in complete stillness. Hearing nothing but your deep slow breaths and feeling your own heart beat?

I used to lay on Nathan's chest listening to his heart beat. So many health issues in his family, made him fear that he was going to die at a young age. It scared me to think that someday, regardless of the reason, I would lose him. I would lay there in stillness hearing his heart beat in his chest. Listen to his breathing. Feeling his chest rise and fall. I'd close my eyes and cherish the time we had spent together and the promise of the future.

Conversations with God, book 2. The act of wanting things pushes it away. The fact he didn't want our marriage to work until I was ready to walk away saddens me.

I don't want to ever be put in a position again where I want something that doesn't work for me. Or wanting someone who has no desire to be with me.

I take the time now to hear my own heart beat. Realize my own destination. Hear my own breaths. Feel my own chest rise and fall. At the end of the day, no matter how I've come to this point in my life, all my travels, all my interactions, I can honestly say I'm happy with me.

I hear what my body wants. I fulfill my needs as they arise. My own heart beat is the most important part of my life. Every breath I take should allow energy to be put into things I love without a shadow of a doubt. Things that I love. People that are happy to be with me; who encourage growth, whether that be with them or away from them.

I close my eyes and sit in a moment of silence (haha-I'm still practicing patience, a moment is all I can stand at the time being!) and relish the fact that my own heart is beating. A fact that my own breath is passing through me. I've come so far since I made the decision to walk away. Only look back to see how far you've come.

xoxoxox