Nothing changes, but everything happens

I am realizing in my travels that really nothing changes over a long period of time. But. Things happen that you miss out on. And even if people 'have no problem' letting you go, it's hard to watch someone walk away.

Even if you know it's not forever or that they have good reasons. People are important. They are. A long time ago I used to say no one is indispensable. Everyone is replaceable. This is so far from the truth it hurts.

Fact is, everyone is so important when you find special people, that you need to make sure they know it. Don't take things for granted. So you can walk away. Why? Why do it? I needed a change. I needed to see things outside my little box.

I have lived my life anchored to people and things. I had lived in fear of the unknown and of God.

I needed to breathe. Regain a sense of who I am, without the needs of other people. What do I love to do? What did I see for my future? How was I going to pave my road to success and happiness.

I needed to learn to love people without having them rely on me. In this process, people who weren't relying on me but was still being loved by me felt alienated by me separating myself from my past life.

It hurt to lose friends because of this. It was a growing pain. Of which, one I needed.

Please know, I'll be back. A flight isn't going to keep me away. I love where I am in life right now. There are so many more people I need to meet and connect. These people are the keys to keeping me on the right track in life. I don't know where I'll end up, but please know you will always be in my heart and mind and I will never leave those I love behind. If you can't join me on my journey, I promise I'll come back.

It's the little things in life that make life 'it'. Carter will always walk. He'll start running then playing sports and so on and so forth. But I missed the excitement of his first steps. I'm going to miss that familiarity he has with everyone else. I will be a stranger to him. For now. All in due time though. That boy will know he is my world too. In this moment, I'm going to appreciate the little things I have.

I'm making a big leap of faith here. Stepping outside my comfort zone. I'm setting down roots here. I'm going to stay right here in Brisbane. I'm making a commitment. And no matter if I'm scared, I am going to push this comfort zone. Fuck. Hold me to this please? Dont let me get so caught up in my fear that I run.

Thank you........


Xoxoxox


Xoxoxo