Another Airport.....

I sit here, knowing that I love my life here in Brisbane.  The change is enough not to bore me.  The friends I've made are fantastic.  Yes, even my hope of a relationship.  As I head to Melbourne off to my "dream" job, I have to ponder if my dreams have changed.  Or, is this me being afraid of what I want.  Yet again.
Fuck.  Will I always be like this.  With everything?  Will I always get what I want and think I don't deserve it?  Or be afraid of the change?  Or just want to keep everything under my control, knowing I have options, but not wanting to commit to any?? 

What is my problem?  I have every doorway open to me.  Its not just the doors, but the windows, and the floors have been removed....along with the ceiling.  I have the world at my fingertips.  If you had these things you'd be just as torn as which way to choose too.

For now, it doesn't hurt to explore this path.  To see where BZE takes me.  My first offical night of couch surfing.  That's where this trip takes me tonight.  Ahhhh, dear comfort zones......hahahahha- fuck.

I do sincerely love my life.  I know I am confused oh so often, but honestly, its not a complaint.  More of a ponder. 

I don't envy people who don't have these options.  I have established a life that I absolutely love.

Yeah, I might seem to be a mess, but honestly?? Its simply amazing.  The things I am good at are impressive. And the things I struggle with???  I'm open to learning.  Its hard, and takes awhile, but for those who love me; its awesome to see my change.

xoxoxoxo