My Life- Down Under: Closing a Chapter

Last year, I fell apart. I shattered. I had to walk away and get a new start. I came to Australia with hope and promise. AKA-a rebound relationship.

Filled with unfulfilled promises and disappointment, I spent a really really shitty month touring around WA. I went home, had a worse time there for the next few months, but was able to bounce back from the bottom with renewed hope and drive.

I returned to Australia in November knowing I wanted to see the country with my own eyes. Have my own experiences and see if I really loved it here as much as I thought.

Six months later, I return to WA. A roadtrip to redo what was fucked up last year. I needed closure. A forgivness that I could only give myself. While my road to healing over the self-abuse I'd been giving myself was already well underway, I still needed to make sure these feelings of peace weren't imagined.

I flew into Perth and picked up my rental. I was ready to kick this chapters ass.

A short stay with the Peter and Robyn I was ready to return to Esperance. A full year since I'd laid eyes on the beautiful beaches of southern WA. I couldn't wait. This experience was mine and mine alone. I would and could make of it as I wanted. If I wanted to stop and help out strangers along side the road, I could. (And to be defiant to every guy I've ever dated who refused to stop to help a stranded soul, I stopped for EVERY single one....this sadly meant a lot more stops then I bothered to even post on Facebook).

They were from Thailand.....they didn't have a jack.

My hitchhiker....He had been hiking since January. His family was worried about him.

I also got lost without getting pissed off at myself. I turned around so I could get a picture of whatever it was I wanted. I stopped to pee along side the road, mainly because I had to. I listened to whatever music I wanted and sang as loud as I wanted off key. I had the windows up and the heat on. Or I had the air con on and the windows down. I did whatever made me comfortable. If I wasn't hungry, I didn't stop for food just because it was "time" to eat. I drove for hours or minutes. Whatever I wanted. It was liberating. Funny how something I would do daily was able to be so freeing.

Two weeks of just me....and facebook.....but mainly just me ;-)

You don't want to read how I discovered I am over beating myself up about decisions I made to make me happy and not others. I hurt people who weren't meant to be hurt. I offended people who shouldn't have been offended. I opened minds for some whose were closed. I slammed doors for others who have no desire to live outside their self contained boxes. In the end, I'm a completely different person to who I was a year ago. It's a journey of self-discovery, love, ambition, heart-break, loss, and strength. A chapter of one that needed to be lived and shared and closed.

There are more things that I need to do. The journey is never ending. Happiness is a decision. I can't please you. I can't even start. So here is the thing....I accept me for me. I no longer feel the need to live my life to make anyone happy. I'm sorry if you think this is "wrong" or doesn't suit you. Doesn't mean I don't love you. I do. I just can't live the only life God gave me crying and being upset. Or living a life that is uninspired.