Strength to shine

Today I realized why I hate being here.  Its my 

Noun

• S: (n) quality of life (your personal satisfaction (or dissatisfaction) with the cultural or intellectual conditions under which you live (as distinct from material comfort)

Do you know those movies you see on TV about run down farms, dead end jobs and people who are just so closed minded that you think, "fuck, this has to be exaggerated."  Let me tell you first hand, they are not.  They are real peoples lives.   There isn't anything at all wrong with it at all.  Most people are happy and content with this life they lead and more power to them.

But I desire more than to just wake up, work, go home.  I just do.  This whole area is depressing and I just haven't ever found anything that I absolutely LOVE about it. 

I've tried a million times.  I have.  And I think being away will lessen that feeling when I come back, but that's not the case.  Its a place that I kindly visit.  Mom said she wants me to stay because she doesn't have an emergency contact when I'm in Australia.  I didn't want to tell her that I don't put her down for that ever anymore.  If I have to use someone in the States, I use Trista.  I just can't bear the thought of my mom getting a call at 3am to tell her there is something wrong with me. 

Trista wouldn't take it well, but she's at least more calm about things.  She can call her mom who will most certainly be calm about whatever the issue is.  Then people can tell my mom when they've dealt with the issue so they can deal with her hysteria. 

Either way, I'm going to rebuild the practice.  We've set up some really amazing achievable goals in the practice.  While I would love to add some D & A; I'll settle with the really awesome programs we are developing and then go from there.  My idea of opening two more offices in the next year went over well.  And I have full support from the staff.  Which is exactly what I need.  I can't wait to break away from these BHRS (Behavioral Health Rehabilitation Evaluations).  The new programs are needed and in the direction of where I want to be with the practice anyway.  Where I've wanted to take it for years, but because I listened to others when making decisions, ended up not making those changes. 

No more.  This is my life and my quality that needs to be fulfilled.  You don't like it?  Leave.  Well, wait, haha-I've fired and let go all the employees not worth keeping.  And happily, all the ones I wanted to fire have quit.  So I'm in a great position at the moment. 

I'm back.  In my element.  Stronger then ever.  and I'm going to use my fire of force to shine.